People can be annoying when you are in a wheelchair. Most people don’t understand what it’s like and what the day to day looks like. I live a very full life in a wheelchair and everyday there are actions of others that make it easier and harder.
First, people don’t understand that my wheelchair is an extension of my body. When you hit my wheels I feel it as if you elbowed my arm. The smallest bump to my wheels can knock me off balance. A slight tap on my wheel is like playing footsies at the table….with someone you don’t know. I don’t often have people push my chair without my permission because I don’t have readily available push handles. But with that, every time someone has to push my chair (who doesn’t usually) they always say “you should get push handles.”. They say it like I forgot to order them….every decision about my chair has a reason and a purpose. Push handles are not needed because of how rarely my wheelchair is pushed by another person.
P.S. I do have a solid backrest which helps others push my chair.
Second, if your actions are leaving out people then disabled people are almost always in that group. I went to a student meeting where pizza was offered but there was no system to hand out the food. It became a free for all and even though I was almost first to the table people kept moving in front and taking pieces. Many people decided to take whole boxes for themselves. This was obviously unfair for many people at the meeting but it became 100% no chance for us with disabilities to get a piece. This is a small example that can be translated to larger scale actions. If it’s happening with the small scale then it’s happening at large scale which can be seen in unemployment rates. Unemployment rates are 2x higher for Canadians with disabilities versus their non-disabled counter parts.
Third, people talking to me about their medical conditions. This happens disproportionately since I’m in a wheelchair. I believe it is a way for people to connect with me but it ends up with people trying to compare their situation to mine. I can empathize that being in a wheelchair for a week was hard but I’ve been in one for 2 years with an indefinite timeline. Hearing someone compare that time to mine while they are not living with the daily challenges is hard to manage. It’s important to note that, this only applies those who socially connect using medical history as an ice breaker not those in true need of support.
These may seem like small actions and in reality, they are. It’s the combination of these actions’ day-in and day-out that makes the weight of them heavy. If you have done these, it’s ok! I share my experiences for others to learn from because all these actions are not intentional. Knowing now I hope you can move forward being informed.